Quotes:The 1993 Friar's Club Roast

From Harpo's Juke Joint

Contents 1 Direct Quotes 1.1 Ted Danson 1.2 Guests at the Roast 2 The Media Reacts

Direct Quotes

Ted Danson

• "Our first fight was over a Disney picture called The Nigger Lover. Miss Diva insisted on playing the nigger. But I told her, 'You always play the nigger.'"

• "I took her to the bedroom and fucked the shit out of her. She gave me some of that monkey love she's so famous for."

• "Who will convince the children if they have diarrhea that they're not melting?...If they go to the beach, cats will try to bury them. I told her, 'Mom, relax. I'm fucking her in the ass.'"

• "Black chicks sure do know their way around a dick. But, in all fairness, white girls get toys for Christmas."

• (while telling a story about Goldberg giving oral sex) "Come on, Whoop, don't nigger-lip it."

• (after taking a bite of watermelon) "That really hits the spot!"

• (upon meeting Danson's parents) "After Whoopi had the done the laundry and dusted and finished cleaning up, I could tell my dad had warmed up to her because he offered to drop her off at the bus stop."

Guests at the Roast

• "Did you really think that black people would think this is funny in 1993?" - comedian Bob Goldthwait to Danson after Danson's act. Goldthwait was the master of ceremonies for the night's roast.

• "When Ted made the jokes about the racially mixed kids - and everyone knows my wife is white and just gave birth to our child - I could see my wife start to cry. If that's what Whoopi and Ted find funny in the bedroom, it's not funny to the outside world." - talk show host Montel Williams in a letter to Bob Saks, the then-chairman of the Friar's roast

• "Today is not a day any of [the Friar's Club' members will remember fondly. Nor will I." - David Dinks, mayor of New York City (1989-1993)

• "If you can't see the humor at a place where there's supposed to be be over-the-line jokes, then there's something wrong with you." - fashion model Beverly Johnson

• "Whoopi knew and so did all the black performers what was going to happen. It's always way over the line - it's supposed to be...[t]his has been going on for eighty-nine years and will go on for another eighty-nine years." - chairman Saks

• "That was the most disgusting display of racism I've ever seen. It made me sick." - Italian-American acting legend Robert DeNiro

• "It blew my mind. Whether it was racial jokes or crude comments about women's body parts, the whole thing upset me because I had no idea what it was going to be like. I said to myself, 'I flew all this way for this?'" - screen actress Halle Berry, who would receive kudos from Academy Award host Goldberg the night she received her Best Actress Oscar

The Media Reacts